Tony had returned a few times over the last few days. He wasn’t sure when. It wasn’t really important. He always tried to cheer McGee up and get him to speak. It didn’t work not unless McGee was weary and asked him to get out. He actually complied which was something that surprised McGee but it made life easier. The key slid into the lock and McGee sighed. The trips had become so frequent that Tony didn’t even bother knocking anymore. It probably didn’t help that he never responded to them anyway.
The footsteps approached the couch but McGee wasn’t in even a remote mood to deal with the other man. “Tony, go away.” Instead of a sigh and then grousing he moved to sit in a chair. A soft noise accompanied the movement but McGee didn’t encourage him to stay. He was just about to repeat his request when his visitor spoke. “McGee, it’s me. Not Tony. He let me borrow your key so we could talk.”
McGee’s whole body tensed. “I don’t want to see you. Leave.” There was the sound of shifting. “McGee please, just let’s try? You don’t have to look at me but let’s just try to talk?” McGee could feel the tears gather in his eyes and he held the letter a little tighter against his chest. He had barely put down the piece of paper for days. “Fine, say what you need to say, and leave.” McGee knew it wasn’t what his visitor wanted, but he couldn’t bear to be near him now.
“When I was taken over it felt something like watching a movie. I could see what was going on but couldn’t do anything to change the course of events. I could see the alien that took me over sort through my memories so that he could imitate me to a fault. It took only a few hours for him to know my habits, my mannerisms, the way I speak. During all of that I could hear his thoughts.
I don’t know why but sharing the same space our thoughts could be heard by each other. I think he ignored me for the most part. Probably because he was used to doing this sort of thing. I didn’t have that option and heard everything. When he was sorting through my memories of you I could see an interest. He was easily able to pick up on how I felt about you but hadn’t planned to use the knowledge until he needed to start infecting others. That changed though when he took over my job.
I could see it starting. The way his thoughts would go to you automatically. The way he would do his best to make you smile or blush. Then he did in a few months, what I lacked the courage to do for years, and asked you out. I was shocked you said yes and then even more surprised when things went so well. I kept telling myself how stupid I’d been. All this time I could’ve had you and been so happy. I can’t tell you how hard it was to see you being made love to and not be able to feel you.”
McGee jerked slightly more tears escaping to join the previous ones that had escaped as Gibbs’ voice cracked. Not being able to help himself he looked toward the occupant of the lone chair in his living room. Gibbs was looking down at his hands tracing a callus on one of his fingers. “It was hard knowing that it was my body making you feel so good, but knowing that it wasn’t really me who was doing anything. At the same time as resentful as I was I could help but be happy for you.
I know that sounds odd, but he made you so happy. I think part of that was that I knew he really did love you as well. Sometimes at night, when you were already asleep, he would just look at you and trace your face with his fingers. Even if I couldn’t hear his thoughts I would’ve known in those moments how he felt. I understand this is tough on you and I don’t want to pressure you into anything.
I just want you to know that he wasn’t the only one who loves you Tim. I felt that way long before he ever came into the picture. I understand that you might not be able to be with me now, but I would like to know if you’re at least willing to give us a chance. I also want you to realize that I don’t expect you to forget him. The two of you loved each other and I know you’re going to need time to grieve.
Well, that’s all I came to say. I’ll leave you alone for now, but I would like to know something when you decide. Tony should be by later to check on you.” Gibbs got up and moved toward the door. McGee suddenly remembered some of Thebis’ last words to him before facing his death. ‘Promise me that you’ll at least try to be happy with me. That you’ll try to make us work.’ McGee closed his eyes in pain. Now he knew what he meant. “Wait, Gibbs. Don’t leave.”
When he opened his eyes again Gibbs was standing in front of the door. “I want to try to make this work. Besides I loved you first as well.” Gibbs gave him a soft smile and moved back into the room. He went to sit in the chair before McGee shook his head and indicated the couch. Gibbs approached and carefully sat down next to McGee. They sat in silence for a few awkward moments not really knowing what to say. McGee suddenly knew what he wanted but was worried it was too forward.
The silence stretched on and McGee couldn’t deny what he wanted another moment. “Jethro, make love to me.” Gibbs turned to look at him surprised. “I don’t think you’re ready. It’s too soon.” McGee looked distraught as he looked down to the couch. Gibbs sounded somewhat panicked as he tried to cheer him up. “Of course, I could be wrong. I’ll do whatever makes you happy.” McGee could feel his emotions becoming unstable again.
“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I just want to feel the difference. I need to be able to see the difference.” Gibbs reached out and gently touched the side of his face. “I do want to be with you. More then you could know. I just don’t want to cause you anymore pain.” McGee turned into the touch already feeling better. “You won’t. I promise.” Gibbs gently lifted his face and then leaned in to touch his lips lightly to McGee’s.
The soft brushes felt the same physically speaking but the application was completely different. McGee shuddered in relief as more tears leaked out from his closed eyelids. They would feel different now in all things. McGee could feel it down to his bone marrow. It didn’t take long before Gibbs was pulling him closer and used his tongue to trace McGee’s lips. Just as McGee was getting ready to open his mouth he pulled back abruptly.
Gibbs looked surprised then worried. “What’s wrong?” McGee pulled away completely. “I need to get cleaned up before we continue. I stink.” Gibbs breathed out in relief. He then reached out and tried to pull McGee closer. “I’m not worried about that. I love you stink and all.” Gibbs gently started to kiss McGee’s neck but he still pulled away. “I would be uncomfortable. I won’t be long.”
Gibbs nodded and reluctantly released his hold. McGee went to his bathroom to get ready. He brushed his teeth until there was no fuzz present. He looked at himself in the mirror and was more than surprised that Gibbs was willing to be with him. He looked horrible. The deep circles under his eyes stood out vividly against his too pale face. His hair, even as short as it was, was a greasy mass.
He started up the shower and undressed. He avoided smelling himself. He was sure that he reeked and he simply didn’t want to think about why he hadn’t showered in almost a week. Climbing under the hot spray he washed thoroughly before exiting the stall. He grabbed his hunter green thin bathrobe off the hook and put it on before heading out to the living room. Gibbs stood up when he came in, looking awkward, as though he didn’t know what to do.
McGee looked around in surprise to see that his gathered mess on the couch and coffee table was gone. In its place were two plates of Chinese food and two mugs. Gibbs filled in the gaps. “I ordered us some food. I thought you might be hungry. I also made us some coffee. I hope you don’t mind that I used your coffee maker.” McGee came around the couch and sat down. “No, I don’t mind. This is wonderful. Thank you.” Gibbs smiled slightly before sitting down next to McGee.
They started to eat and for the first time since Gibbs had entered the apartment the silence was comfortable. McGee only ate a little. His appetite not really recovered as of yet. With a few small bites of the food and a few sips of coffee he was full. Gibbs didn’t really seem to be eating much either and McGee took that as a sign to make his move. He scooted closer to Gibbs until he was right next to him. Gibbs looked over to him for just a moment before setting down his cup and wrapping an arm around his waist.
McGee let his hands bunch in Gibbs’ shirt and met his gaze. Gibbs took that for the sign that it was and leaned forward to connect their lips. The kiss was a slow play of lips. They met and separated every few seconds. The gentle grazing continued for awhile until Gibbs brushed the tip of his tongue against McGee’s mouth. When he was given access Gibbs started to gently explore McGee’s mouth.
McGee could feel tears tracking down his face but was unable to stop them. ‘The touch is so different. Maybe things would work out.’ Gibbs felt the tears apparently and pulled back. His free hand came up to cup McGee’s jaw. “We can stop.” McGee automatically shook his head. “No, I’m okay. I really want this.”Gibbs looked at him for awhile seeming to be feeling out the truth of his words. “Alright, but if at any point you want to stop, just say so.”
McGee nodded as Gibbs leaned back in. They started kissing again for long moments. Finally McGee pulled away. “Take me to bed.” He watched as Gibbs’ eyes darkened. The reaction was comforting. Gibbs released him to stand but held out a hand to help pull McGee to his feet. McGee accepted the hand and once he was on his feet let himself be led into the bedroom. Gibbs sat down on the bed and wrapping his arm around McGee’s waist pulled him down until he rested against his chest.
The gentle kissing started again only this time the lips moved down to his jaw, then his neck, then to his collarbone which was just barely covered by the robe. Gibbs used his free hand to gently push the fabric open until it came off McGee’s shoulders and then pooled down at his waist. Gibbs free hand coming up to gently pet at his body. The strong yet gentle hands causing a shiver to shoot up McGee’s spine. He let a moan escape and then felt himself being shifted.
He was gently laid down on his back before Gibbs removed his arm from his waist. He watched in passivity as Gibbs leaned down to start kissing the skin he couldn’t reach at the previous angle. Gibbs’ lips reverently mapped with his mouth every inch of skin he had exposed. McGee’s nipples were saved for last the mouth coming up to suck on each one gently until they were straining points. McGee moaned loudly at the sensation and let his hand settle on the back of Gibbs’ head.
The other man took that as encouragement and teased each point on and off with gentle suction. Broad licks to the entire area being thrown in at random. He pulled back eventually with a final kiss between the two nipples on McGee’s breast bone. Gibbs sat up on his elbow managing to catch and kiss the palm of the hand that fell away from the back of his head. When he released the wrist he moved his hand down to gently push the rest of the robe out of the way.
He then gently shifted McGee so that he could move the robe off the bed. The garment found its way onto the nightstand as Gibbs then shifted to kneel between McGee’s legs. The gentle kisses started again from the point where the robe had still been covering his body. McGee gently gripped the pillows as his lower half was showered with kisses. Gibbs avoided his groin at first but made his way there once everywhere else had been savored.
Gibbs looked up briefly as he settled his nose into McGee’s pubic hair and inhaled gently. McGee shuddered and moaned. As much from the look as from the touch. Gibbs turned slightly and started to kiss the sensitive skin under the hair before moving lower. His lips then moved over the tightening sacks under McGee’s erection before moving up to the hardened flesh. The touch remained light even as he covered the member’s surface. A final kiss placed to the head.
McGee sobbed in arousal at the touch but didn’t try to move. He wanted to let Gibbs take care of him. Gibbs withdrew for a moment looking up at him before leaning back down and gently taking McGee into his mouth. Gibbs took him down his throat steadily and pulled back up slowly. He started up a rhythm including the same gentle suction he’d used on McGee’s chest.
McGee cried out not being able to stop his hand from landing on Gibbs’ head again. He let his fingers play through the salt and pepper hair as he bit into a pillow for purchase. Gibbs continued until McGee’s arousal was steadily leaking pre-come. It was at that point that he pulled away. Moving down again Gibbs gently spread McGee’s legs a little wider and angled his hips up slightly.
McGee was still trying to catch his breath when he gasped in shock. He looked down only to groan and throw his head back into his pillow. The side of his mouth brushing against a wet spot his saliva had created from his previous biting. Gibbs was holding his shaking thighs apart as he used his tongue to wet McGee’s entrance. The warm wet muscle was circling around the entrance to his body in a teasing motion.
His reaction seemed to thrill Gibbs who became even more diligent and started to put more pressure against the skin in his circling. The tongue retreated for a moment only to return once more coated in saliva. The added moisture easily coated his entrance as Gibbs wet the whole area by flattening his tongue. The wet noises intermingled with their heavy breathing as well as Gibbs’ small sounds of pleasure turned him on even more.
If the spike in his arousal hadn’t been obvious to Gibbs it became obvious in that moment. His trembling thighs trying to part further a dead giveaway. Once his entrance was thoroughly bathed from the outside, Gibbs let his tongue retreat once more, only to return by pushing into McGee’s entrance. McGee shouted in rapture, his hand tightening on Gibbs’ head in response, and his hips trying to lift toward the other man’s mouth.
Gibbs groaned at the reaction and pushed his tongue deeper. He started up a thrusting only withdrawing to gather more saliva. When Gibbs returned he would tease McGee with a few circles, licks, or a combination of both before plunging back into his body. It got to the point where McGee couldn’t hold his hips still, his arousal sounding out in continuous broken off sobs, and finally his hand retreated to grip his pillow with its mate. Once his hand left Gibbs’ head the other man pulled back completely and sat up again.
McGee moaned in disappointment but Gibbs gently stroked his thighs offering him some comfort before releasing his hold. Then very slowly Gibbs started to undress. First his shirt, then the undershirt, then his pants, and then finally the underwear. All of the garments being carelessly tossed to the floor. Once he was done Gibbs got off the bed and moved to McGee’s nightstand.
As he watched Gibbs opened the top drawer and withdrew a bottle of lubricant. Gibbs eyes never left his as he opened the bottle and then proceeded to coat his erection generously. Their heated stare was only broken when McGee’s eyes fell downward and watched the motion with rapt attention. He unconsciously licked his lips as thoughts of Gibbs’ erection sliding into his body bombarded his mind. When Gibbs seemed sure that his member was coated enough he put the bottle on the top of the nightstand.
Moving back over to the bed Gibbs knelt down between McGee’s thighs again and gently moved them into a similar position to the one they’d been in earlier. Going very slowly Gibbs started to push inside his body. McGee relaxed against the pressure and welcomed the full feeling. Gibbs was able to easily sink all the way inside until McGee’s thighs were cradling the other man’s hips. Gibbs leaned forward once he was inside to bury his face into McGee’s neck.
“You’re so tight.” A puff of breath escaped from Gibbs to fan over McGee’s neck. “It feels so good. You feel good everywhere. Uh, so tight.” McGee wrapped his arms around Gibbs’ shoulders and then let a hand gently stroke down his back. He could feel tears slipping free again. ‘Will I ever stop crying? I miss you Thebis, but I’m glad that I’m not alone.’ He let his hand move up from Gibbs’ back to settle again in his hair. Gibbs pulled back slightly to bring them face to face.
Gibbs brought a hand up and traced McGee’s lips. There was a moment’s hesitation before Gibbs leaned down and connected their mouths in a brief kiss. When he pulled away again he leaned his head to the side so that it rested against the left side of McGee’s face. A gentle thrusting started and McGee held onto Gibbs feeling pleasantly surrounded. In this position Gibbs completely covered his body and McGee felt safe again.
Even before when they were just boss and employee McGee had always felt safer with Gibbs around. Also more nervous but that wasn’t the point. Gibbs took care of his own and now more than ever that was the case. The position also caused the thrusts to stay deep and McGee could already feel the over stimulated nerve endings at his entrance contracting around the hard length.
His erection which had been steadily leaking pre-come even before they started was now rubbing between both of their stomachs. He could already feel the warm fluid matting in the light hair on Gibbs’ stomach. He gripped Gibbs a little tighter when his prostate was stroked against. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer if Gibbs kept that up. It became obvious though that they were both close.
Gibbs was panting heavily against his neck the breaths starting to have a harsh quality. His hips were starting to lose their rhythm as the movements became more jerky. Regardless of that the thrusting stayed gentle. Gibbs was truly making love to him. That thought caused a sob of a different sort and he pushed against Gibbs as the other man pushed inward.
The stronger rub against his prostate combined with his emotions and the other sensations wracking his body was enough to make him climax. His body seized up and jerked as his release spilled between their bodies. He buried his face in Gibbs’ shoulder as he rode out the orgasm. Only a second after his own release Gibbs stilled and released a choked off sound. The results of his own pleasure filling McGee’s body.
They laid there for several moments holding each other tightly through the aftershocks. It wasn’t until McGee had relaxed into the bedding that Gibbs went to pull away. McGee’s arms immediately tightened on his shoulders. “Wait, not yet.” Gibbs pulled away just enough to be able to look at his face. A nod was the only response he gave as he settled against McGee’s body. His hands making soothing patterns down McGee’s sides.
McGee relaxed under the gentle attentions and basked in the feeling of security. Gibbs stayed with him, stayed inside of him, until McGee could no longer stay awake. He fought it but exhaustion was easily winning. It had been a rough few weeks. A last desperate thought becoming a fervent mantra as exhaustion finally won out. ‘Don’t let this be a dream.’
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
McGee sat on the couch editing his book. It was hard to believe but the only thing left was to finish editing. He had been able to finish the actual writing about a month ago. A pair of arms suddenly enclosed his chest and a wet sloppy kiss landed on his cheek. He laughed as he turned his head to look up at his lover. “Jethro, you needed something?” The other man just smiled before resting his lips in McGee’s hair.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to work on the boat?” McGee looked upward toward his lover although he really couldn’t see him anyway. “I need to finish this then I’ll come down.” Gibbs pulled away with an ‘okay’ and headed into the kitchen. A few seconds later he appeared setting a beer next to McGee on the end table and after a quick peck on the head went to the basement. McGee smiled putting down his book for a moment to take a drink.
He let his mind wander into the recent past. It had been about three months since the attempted invasion. The first sweep was still going on but they were almost finished. The masks for the most part had been put away by people and life had returned to normal. After the week in quarantine Ducky and Palmer had returned to work. Abby greeting them with an alien space ship cake.
The idea was funny but McGee was glad he wasn’t there to see it. Thebis had suggested the idea and he probably would have broken down and cried at the sight. The news of Ducky and Palmer’s relationship had been a surprise but not as much as it should have been. It turns out that Palmer had gotten infected while at a club with some friends and had then infected Ducky when the alien learned of their relationship. Palmer wasn’t really sure how it had happened, but Ducky believed someone slipped something into his drink.
Either way they were both alright now but felt it was the time to tell everyone. Life really was too short. His own relationship with Gibbs was now also public knowledge. The higher ups were not too happy but they didn’t let it affect their work. They also had the whole an alien parasite started the whole thing defense. Thankfully there hadn’t been too many problems.
McGee had only returned to work recently. Things had been very hard for him for quite some time and he didn’t want to add work onto his list of worries. Gibbs had agreed with that and gotten him the time off. Soon after their first night together McGee had moved in. It was a way to free up his finances and to be able to be close to Gibbs. The move had seemed too soon, but Gibbs had reassured him that they would be fine.
It turned out to be a great idea. They were able to get closer and McGee was able to see the differences from Thebis even more clearly. There were a lot of things that Thebis had been truthful about. The touch from Gibbs was completely different and there were differences in personality. Gibbs was still playful but would get cranky easier. Thebis had never once mentioned Gibbs’ boat.
McGee had thought at the time that it was just something he liked to do on his own. He realized quickly that was not the case as Gibbs had wanted to show him how to work on the boat almost immediately. There were also subtle moments of doubt that colored Gibbs’ actions when it came to their relationship. At times he would outright walk on eggshells thinking that McGee was going to blow up at him for something. That was something they were working on. They did argue every now and then but for the most part life was peaceful.
Gibbs had been great about everything involving Thebis. They would talk about him sometimes so that McGee could work through his grief. He knew that McGee kept a slightly crumpled letter tucked inside an envelope, with his handwriting on it, in a wooden box in the upper left corner of their closet. He never demanded or asked to read it knowing that it was too personal. At least at this time. When McGee would wake up disoriented and forgetful of what was real or not he would hold him through the inevitable tears.
In a way as much as he should hate Thebis for imprisoning Gibbs like he did he just couldn’t. There were too many good things to remember. He would think of the radiant happiness he’d experienced for the first time in his life, the way that Thebis had made love to him, and how in the end he’d given his blessing for McGee to be with Gibbs knowing that he was going to die.
A death that he could have run from but had instead faced making McGee promise that he would be happy even without him. A promise that McGee was glad to say he could keep. He was happy. So happy he felt like he could burst. The only thing he couldn’t do was not grieve. Thebis had told him not to grieve for him in the letter, but he couldn’t listen to that request. He knew that time made things easier, but it was still too fresh. So even though he loved Gibbs and was blissfully happy he couldn’t help but mourn the loss of his first male lover Thebis.
The End
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